Monday, July 11, 2011


Sometimes you know what you're looking for, but you don't know who it'll look like.

I know I'm looking for love. Not in the overzealous kind of way, but it stays in the back of my head. I know I'll get it because I'm giving it away every day of my life through the way I smile, the way I breathe, and the way I am.

I'm okay with letting go. These past couple of months, I've been kept on my toes on what it means to feel.

I went to China faced with a dilemma. Decide. Decide to take a chance on someone who gave me mixed feelings because he had to ask for forgiveness from the start. Or someone else who gave me mixed feelings because although he is a great friend, his strong feelings and timing felt wrong to my instincts.

My trip to China was ... everything. :) That's the only word to describe it.

When I stepped on American soil I knew what I had to do. Of course I let time settle so I would prevent any rash decision making to occur.

I'm in the middle of living true to myself and taking action according to that principle. One thing I always keep in the back of my head is that sometimes the pursuit of love is the same as getting the career you desire or the item you want in a bustling shopping center of peddlers. You can allow yourself to be distracted by what's out there, or you can go for what you want.

Additionally, it may be hard to say no to someone when they're so kind, and when they've done nothing wrong, but when it comes to matters of the heart, it's a different story. I'm a compromising person everywhere else in my life, but when it comes to who gets my heart, I will be ruthless. :)

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