Friday, April 30, 2010

Quotes to Keep Me Grounded.

"I didn't say it was easy. I said it was worth it."

"Feedback is the breakfast of champions."

Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults.
Chinese Proverb

You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.
Henry David Thoreau

The essential thing is not knowledge, but character.
Joseph Le Conte

Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.
George Dana Boardman

"Hip is short term. Earnest is long term."

If your actions inspire others to dream more,
learn more, do more and become more,
you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams

Any one can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
Publilius Syrus

Life is like the dice that, falling, still show a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.
Italian Proverb

Govern thy life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one, and read the other.
Thomas Fuller

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Lisa Ling.

Probably the female Asian professional that I look up to and admire the most is Lisa Ling.

Lisa was precocious and started her career early by being on a TV program for teens by teens. She was later selected from a nationwide search to be on popular daytime television talk show The View. It's a show I really enjoy and respect for the multitude of viewpoints garnered and debated in an informal atmosphere. It's real talk.

She is wonderfully articulate and expressive. So intelligent. She can speak on a plethora of topics. She's concerned about those hard-pressing issues and can relate to people.

She's also very humorous and witty.

The icing of the cake is, she's just as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. Have you seen that million-dollar smile?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Seeing Beyond Color.

I recall after Beyond Excellence I distinctly saw beyond the color of my brothers and sisters. I was genuinely disgusted with how my prejudgments manifested itself to prevent myself from getting close to others. I already wrote them off in my mind.

Up until now, I would say I had a type. By type I mean a preference in who I dated, in term of race, body type, height, and other physical attributes. But now, being more of a global citizen, not only do I appeal more to other people, but I find other people appealing. I don't care so much what's on the surface. I know better. I can't just throw my hands up the air and feign ignorance. I know any stint looking superficially will bite me on the butt, and will end up in a short-lived romance. While girls my same age are looking for the bad boys with the fitted clothes, ripped bod, and swagger, I'm looking for the boys that are earnest, funny, and have character.

I've gone back to basics when all my life I've been concerned with the details. I understand now the color of one's skin is a detail.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


There was something so powerful yesterday. You can see the expression of peace of this man, who has just hunted an endangered baboon. His clothes a bit torn, his skin meshed with dirt, and the carcass over his shoulder. He doesn't necessarily stand proud. He stands comfortably. He has food for the night, and his expression is a bit somber and innocent. There is no malice in his eyes. Instead, he looks into the camera with a child's eyes. Similar to how a virus is etched with the code "Replicate"; his mantra and his life code is to "Hunt for food." If you look at his lower torso and legs, you can see the primate's blood dripping in long thin spaghetti strands along his legs. This is not just a visual aesthetic, but the start to a chain reaction that isn't even realized by this simple man.

This is the only thing he knows. He hunts for animal protein, and with the scarcity of other game, rapidly increasing, he knows not of the implications of his actions. He knows not of the high susceptibility of viruses that lay borne in these animals. Touching these tissues, having the blood intermingle and touch his skin, to be constantly drenched in it. This is how viruses that originate in animals like monkeys and pigs, crossover to humans. It's the front line. These are the veterinarians, farmers, and hunters in the wild. But while the veterinarians are educated on the matter, these hunters do not know of the huge impact of their actions. Hunt these animals or starve are the options they see on the table. They do not even know that from a worldwide perspective is, potentially contract an animal virus and spread it to your community, which will proliferate like wildfire across the world because of the ubiquitous communication there is. We live in such an interconnected world, that is a blessing and obstacle to deal with.

A powerful question is thus, how can we place the responsibility of the world's fate, in case of a virulent virus outbreak (think H1N1 but deadly -- a virus that is not only highly transmissible but potent), in the hands of those who fight to survive. How can we put such grand decisions and allow these choices to happen without any kind of stake of our own. If we are to be affected by these choices by a pandemic, we need to be a part of the change.

I learned a whole lot at yesterday's lecture. Lots of questions, lots of myths broken, and lots of food for thought. The face of the hunter and his simple expression, spawned an entire discussion in my mind.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I Fell In Love With a Husky.

As I walked to my UNICEF officers' meeting, I was walking my usual way to school. I was approaching Wheeler when this beautiful... gorgeous... puppy with his mint condition, straight out of a Husky calendar, fur coat and beautiful crystal blue eyes that could forge peace accords between hostile nations, appeared right in front of me.


The dog walked as far as his leash would permit. The dog ambled over and just came before me, curious, and inquisitive. SO ADORABLE.

I stopped, and I was just in the moment. I knew I was running a bit late (terrible feeling), but I stopped. I asked its owner if I could pet him, and I knew nothing about its personality but that didn't stop me from sending out my positive energy. It turned out my guess was right, the dog was very friendly.

I stopped and talked to the owner, and while doing so I was utterly transfixed by the beauty of this animal. I petted the cute puppy's fur, and I frolicked with it, and I was taken away from the Earth in those few minutes. It was unbelievably amazing the way I felt.

I met one of the most adorable dogs in the world. And if I see my neighbor again, I get a free invite to check out his dog! :D

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Korean BBQ.

My cousin chose to have our family eat Korean Barbeque instead of the typical Vietnamese or Chinese cuisine.

So I got out of my comfort zone and ate it. There were these ribs that were flavored and marinated Korean style. Also there was a soup that was spicy, and you were supposed to crack a raw egg into it, and let it sit for a while to cook, but you were supposed to eat it in one gulp. That was interesting. Haha!

The fish pictured above, was with every entree so I ate it with my rice. They had little small bowls with various foods - kimchee, and other things I don't remember.

All in all, it tasted very Japanese. Bland at most times or outrageous in flavor. And distinctly clean tastes. You can pick apart the flavors. There is little oil used, so it adds to the clean taste. It is hardly greasy, which is very different from Chinese and Vietnamese food.

:) I would not mind trying it again, but just a forewarning to those who are thinking of trying it: it won't get you completely full so get dessert after or eat a snack beforehand.

Saturday, April 24, 2010


The Astros beat the Pittsburgh Pirates earlier. The score was 4-3. I had no doubt we would win, despite losing the night before. I had no apprehension, and all I recall is seeing the scoreboard saying 1-0, and then I looked again after a few more innings, and it said 4-3. It remained that way for the rest of the game, and we won. :)

To celebrate our victory, they had an amazing fireworks display.

Fireworks is usually a Fourth of July or New Years event for me (and for most people as well). There's something so Patriotic about fireworks. Also there's something so Romantic about it. But more than the Patriotism and Romanticism it evokes, it's the fragility and sanctity of life that surfaces to the top. I think of the movie Titanic.

The fireworks in the film are shown in the air - a distress signal for any ships nearby. There's one scene that plays sharply in my mind. It's a birds eye view of the ship and the fireworks make a small blip in the night sky. There is no music or sound. You can feel the tangible despair and hopelessness of the signal.

The fireworks at Minute Maid park were on the opposite end of the spectrum. It was a celebration of the beautiful moments we at times take for granted. It was such a beautiful display, dozens of firework blossoms washing over me like a phantasmagoria of beautiful experiences that have happened in my life. :) I smiled.

I appreciated the fact that the fireworks in this situation were from life's positive spectrum. There are those occasions when the distress signals come flashing like the scene in Titanic. But when it's purely celebratory and full of jubilation, accept it. Please. You never know what kinds of events will pass.

:) Fireworks are so beautiful. I can't believe as we left, we had to take a poll to see if the majority wanted to stay for fireworks. Who could honestly turn down such a beautiful show? These fireworks are made by people, by the ingenuity of man. It is so inspiring! Also, someone choreographed the fireworks to fit the music it is played to! That my friends, makes fireworks one of my favorite things to spectate. :)

Friday, April 23, 2010

That Moment.

In Garden State, Natalie Portman asks Zach Braff, "Have you heard of The Shins?" He says, "No." She says, "Listen to this song. It'll change your life." He listens to it for a while, takes off the headphones, gives it back to her, and approves.

Sometimes I know when a moment like that is going to happen. A moment where I feel a connection with the music, the person next to me, nature, or the energy in the room.

It happened when he slipped his hand around mine and complimented my ring on my hand.

It happened when I heard Radiohead's The Reckoner for the first time.

It happened when I talked to Dr. Little in his office about my Thucydides essay.

It happens all the time, but it's still a wonder.

I believe you can fall in love with more than just a person. Who says it has to even be physical. You can fall in love with sounds. The spirit. The way something makes you feel. I've said it many times before, I'm in love with this world. Love is about rediscovering in many ways and number of times why you love something. Every post in this blog is that rediscovery.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


It finally happened yesterday.

And like I predicted a long time ago, whatever happened would be exactly what was supposed to happen. I knew that no matter how uneasy I would feel about the vacancies on the ballot, I trusted the process. And, everything fell into place, and we have a full group of officers. :) Hearing all of the candidates' speeches imbued with heart, body, and soul truly made their President proud. I heard some gratitude that I never knew existed, and I never would have known about unless an event like this: where they had to be put on display to an audience about why they love UNICEF and what they want to contribute later on.

I am very glad that I believed in the 'I' in team and made a difference to encourage as many of those to believe in themselves to run for office.

Every time I got a shout out in a speech, it truly touched my heart. It made me realize that I had influenced a lot of people not only to join UNICEF but to stay. <3

I look at the line up of officers and there is peace in my heart. I won't name names, because I don't have to. Where there are those who do not possess the strength and vision to bring UNICEF forward yet, they have the overall strength of those around them that will pull them through. Not just pull them through, but make a shift in their SPIRIT, and ATTITUDE. So as a team, I believe that the positive energy will overrun the negative. I am not worried, but I do know that there is quite a bit of legwork on my behalf to feel completely satisfied that I gave them ALL the tools they need to succeed.

I have 20 minutes left on this clock, and every minute will count like it was one of the first!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Charlie St. Cloud.

I love the trailer for the movie.

It has two amazing songs: Snow Patrol's 'Run' and BOB's 'Airplanes' feat. Hayley Williams.

The plot in a nutshell centers around Charlie St. Cloud. He is an intelligent kid, Stanford-bound, and talented with sailing and baseball. He promises to teach his brother some baseball before he leaves to college, but gets in an accident where his brother is killed. Left with the memories of this promise, Charlie finds it difficult to move on. Charlie has delusions of his spirit, and is able to carry out his promise to teach him baseball despite his brother's physical presence being gone. Charlie meets a girl, who happens to sail, and starts falling for her. An internal struggle occurs when Charlie's brother accuses Charlie of picking the girl over him.

Charlie must choose to either move forward with his life or not. In the form of his deceased brother, he finds it hard to move on, and look past the guilt he feels. I think the plot is great - and it's based on the book with the same name, which I actually want to pick up and read.

Also, Zac Efron is in it, and I really believe he has a lot of emotional range, and I'm excited to see him have a go at it. He's not bad to look at either. :)

I can't wait til October 16th!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I was just watching a slew of videos on Youtube featuring The Oscars Roundtable where actors and directors answered questions of fame, acting, inspiration, interesting moments, grappling with how to give life to the characters they portray, and other thought provoking things. It was starring a lot of diverse personalities, and was honestly the most candid, raw discussion I've heard in a long time. So you have a very dry, humerous, and self-deprecating Robert Downey Jr. You have Mickey Rourke who in his lifetime has experienced dark tumultuous periods, is able to authentically connect to people in a raw and magnetic way. You have Anne Hathaway who is still a bit green and is sinking her teeth into more involved roles as she progresses. You have the graceful Helen Mirren who is wonderfully regal yet charming at a moment's notice. This mix of delightful people was so fantastic to listen to.

The point of this post isn't to glorify that industry or the people, that's not my focal point, despite my profound respect.

Acting to me, for the first time in my life is something I can relate to. And it's still taking some getting used to. I've been realizing this as far back as early January but listening to these actors, it is becoming clearer. At first, I used to immediately connect acting with being fake and inauthentic. But that has since changed, although this was an ingrained notion in my mind for most of my life.

Let me take a step back and discuss admiration. To respect and admire something, is in a sense, one step away from doing it oneself. If you respect and admire something, it is something you would be grateful to be able to do. All of the things I respect and admire, I wish I had the capacity to achieve myself. It is not something that I admire and scorn simultaneously. I don't believe that it's possible, although in this world, people try to create those paradoxes. For example, the President of the United States, for me is a position that I highly respect with the responsibility it entails. Your constituents are the citizens of the USA, and one takes into account the interests of not only the people but businesses, foreign politics, the bureaucracy, the legislature, and everything in between. If you look over the course of history and realize there was a period of Presidents called the 'No Name Presidents' like Millard Fillmore you'll see that the interpretation of what a role means varies wildly. Any role, whether it be the President of the USA, or being a mother, is acting, in a very broad sense. If you assume acting to mean fake, then no, it is not, but I am going to redefine what I mean by being an actor.

I don't believe it means to be inauthentic and fake. To me, the general population feels that the realm of acting is so far from their lives because they can not envision this phenomenon of getting into state and believably portraying these people. It is an incredibly difficult feat because it takes one's soul and body to synchronize, where other industries there isn't so much of an exhaustion of resources to create the art.

To get into state and to really portray the characters, first one has to look beyond oneself as a typecast. Are you the surly arrogant person that never lets his pride down and nothing else? Are you the girl next door -- beautiful and so down to earth that can't be seen doing anything out of propriety? Actors are able to get into the skins of these seemingly one-dimensional characters and allow people to see that they are multi-dimensional. They become aware of not only their voice, their mannerisms, but where they angle themselves towards people, and certain idiosyncrasies to create history. And then they do this again. And again. With characters with different accents, histories, troubles, motivations, belief structures, expertise, and they create believability and the audience trusts in that.

It is someone who really has a sense of the vast spectrum of human emotion and all of its vivid colors dark and bright to truly be a great actor. The reason why people judge an actor by the wide range of characters they play is because the best actors can be given a role, and run with it, and make it their own. Fundamentally actors can't be fake. To prepare for a role that is not themselves, they explore the deep valleys of emotions and thoughts of that person. They get into their shoes, have the hypothetical conversations the character would have, until they are able to think and make choices for the character. Actors also can not judge the characters they play, for fear of pinning them down and subconsciously affecting their portrayal in a way that diminishes the flesh of the role.

Acting is so many things. I know that the best actors are trained to be in tune to the human condition and as a result, are in the business of psychology. Only, instead of lecturing about psychology, they'll show you with their performances, and it's a beautiful thing.

Life is playing a lot of roles. And if we committed to the homework, preparation, and execution as these actors did with playing characters they are far from, as the roles that we are actually in right now, then the world would be a better place. :)

Monday, April 19, 2010


I believe in it as much as Madonna does. But only when it's done authentically and not as a marketing gimmick. Physical looks have nothing to do with it. But if it helps you get into state or project yourself, then do it.

Yesterday is called yesterday for a reason -- it's because today is a totally different day that has a chance to reset. It's a beautiful opportunity we all get but we think that we'll be judged or maligned for wanting to do it better. Check the conversation in your head. Well the chains of the past can keep pulling but there aren't enough chains to hold me back.

If everyone around you lives in a yesterday kind of a world, let them. You're better off living in the present.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Back Against the Wall.

Great song by Cage the Elephant.

It reminds me of how it feels to fall for someone. So I can simply put anyone I've had a crush on or someone I've completely fallen for in this song context. Fun song.

Grunge rock, head banging, and just a great song to perform or be in the audience for. Anyone can relate to it in their own way.

Saturday, April 17, 2010


There's this quote from Aristotle about excellence.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

I literally sat there, and I wholeheartedly agreed.

It makes me think about something. In these past few months, I've heard the most flattering compliments. For example, "I hope hanging out with you will rub your goodness off of me." And it made me laugh. :) I am no different than you. And also, I don't feel any different in this present moment. I feel like ME. But that's because I've gotten used to the feel of confidence, and the feel of my own skin. I like it, and it's home.

But I forget. I forget that I've made confidence a habit. I've made excellence a habit. And people forget, that they too, can make excellence a habit. They forget they too can become their own example, and make it a habit that others will emulate.

As I forget, I remember again. The human mind is beautiful. Most are designed to remember certain things that we focus on, while the unimportant are deleted. What you wore 5 years ago on this very day is not important. Also, the embarrassing moment you had on the elevator where you saw an acquaintance and called them the wrong name, is a memory best forgotten and moved forward from. However, I believe our minds can separate the truly unimportant from the important. The past that I keep with me is designed to be a reminder, not an anchor that keeps me from flowing freely into the present.

Fly on.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Girl Chivalry.

Everyone knows a true gentleman will open the door for others, pull a chair to seat a woman, offer his jacket when it's cold, and his umbrella when it rains.

I choose to conduct myself similarly. I won't go as far to pull chairs for a man or woman, but I take it upon myself to be a leader and to fulfill needs when I can, such as giving up my seat or finding a seat if an unexpected guest drops in.

I love opening doors for others.

I love to do this for men. The look of surprise I sometimes get, makes me smile. Or sometimes their adamant refusal makes me smile. I appreciate their adherence to their principles. I think it'd be a great movement for women to create a perception of of being independent and feminine, but to be a stakeholder in performing niceties that males have always been given credit for. We can rightfully get a piece of that pie.

Let's introduce some girl chivalry in this world, why don't we all?

I imagine a world of surprised looks. I imagine a world where we males and females don't always have to talk about the opposite sex as if they were aliens. Less talk about the battle of the sexes, and let's start praising each other for what we are. There's a reason why a lot of us tend to fall in love and marry those of the opposite sex - let's not forget that. :)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Love Your Body.

Love your body. Love this video. :)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

3rd Rock from the Sun.

I forgot why I love this show.

Background information: There's a group of 4 aliens that take the life form of humans on Earth, and their mission is to learn more about human life. Sally is the military intelligence expert whose goal is to learn about being a woman. Tommy is a brilliant scholar who is in the body of a teenager and must learn about human culture. Harry is a communication receptacle. And lastly, Dick is the high commander who is leader to the group and is also learning everything he can about humans and the quirks of life.

The funniest parts have to do with their inability to grasp certain concepts we take for granted.

For example, believing that the lottery is a game to select the same numbers that are drawn. They enthusiastically rip apart the winning ticket when the numbers called match up with theirs. :)

Also, everything is so over the top because they are experiencing certain things for the very first time. :) That is what I love most about the show. And that is something that reminds me of certain things in my life that I've forgotten, and its importance and novelty.

What an amazing show concept. Hip hip hooray!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Career Outlook.

"When you're struggling to survive in a corporate job, it might be an achievement just to make it through the day. But if at any point you feel like taking these steps is not worth the effort, just consider how much time you are likely to spend in the business world. Assuming you work from age 22 to age 65 for 235 days a year, you'll be on someone else's clock for about 80,000 hours, or one tenth of your life. Isn't it only fair that you do everything you can to create a rewarding job experience?" - Copyright 2007 Alexandra Levit.

Food for thought.

Monday, April 12, 2010

If I am EVER at a loss to see the beauty in this world - NOTCOT.ORG is my savior.

The ingenuity of man and what man is able to accomplish in terms of art, technology, fashion, and architecture is shown here.

Currently, there are 698 pages of inspiration and counting. :)

Sunday, April 11, 2010


So here I was volunteering at the Children's Festival, and there were moments that were very beautiful.

Viv and I were in charge of the roller coaster booth. It had room for 8 and we were in charge of taking tickets and helping kids get on and off the roller coasters. A lot of the children were just a couple of years old so I had to help them get on by carrying them. I think I carried hundreds of children, haha. It brought me down to a level that I needed. I think the same happened for Viv. We were just acting so silly. "Are you excited? Are you going to raise your hands in the air?" Some kids just need someone to follow.

I spoke with a good friend of mine and he said, "I want to be sure I leave a good wake behind." I forgot the lesson of the wake, the remnants that come off from every action, glance, word that you say. I want to make sure I leave a positive wake. So even if a child was sleeping on the ride (lol!), I made sure I brought my A-game and smiled, wooped and hollered, so that they can see that this ride is something definitely to be excited about.

There's just something so magical about doing something as simple of this. I loved just leading the kids to the dinosaur ride carts. Holding their hands and leading them and carrying their tiny bodies and lifting them up into an experience that they may remember. Strapping them using seat belts. High fiving them as they went along, and the smiles that came for free.

Life isn't that difficult. Just smile and anchor in the things that make you happy.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Fettuccine Alfredo.

Whenever my best friend and I go to Olive Garden, I always get chicken fettuccine alfredo. My best friend always gets a cheese pizza.

I have a soft spot for pasta and I'm a big fan of cream-based sauces.

Just looking at this picture makes me very happy. I'm salivating.

Friday, April 9, 2010

True Blood.

Godric is the best character on the show in my opinion. He is the Ghandi; he's responsive not reacting, and always one step ahead.

The vampires in the show feed off human blood and while they can potentially live forever, having a stake driven through their heart can make a vampire splatter all over the floor. Not pretty.

Godric's philosophy about the way the humans and vampires should coexist bring a lot of parallels of humankind coexistence to mind.

If we were to only learn from the mistakes of others and really look past our impulses and consider ourselves as not just members of particular political organizations, enthusiasts of hobbies, or a race, but instead a member of the collective human race - then we would conduct ourselves far more differently and with more peace, love, and understanding.

If we thought in terms of the big picture, that if we want to create a movement where vampires and humans can evolve and move away from its predator/prey relationship, the change needs to first happen within oneself. This is not an issue of our leaders to fix, nor is it a problem too far away.

It's a show that probes into the contemporary issues America and the world are struggling with. And it's not a bad deal that some of these vampires are deliciously gorgeous.

Thursday, April 8, 2010


"It's not in the cards tonight. Or ever." is what I thought to myself last night.

At Calhoun Lofts my friends and I were writing our papers and I was studying for finance. One of my friends encouraged me to go on Facebook chat. To preface this, I never do. Not for any particular reason, but when I think about it, it seems like a commitment to stay and have meaningful conversation. Just last night alone there were 82 of my friends online and within my reach. That sheer number was a bit overwhelming because with my close friends, I want to continue our strong communication. With friends that I'm not as close to, I want to get up to speed. With acquaintances, I want to get to know them better and just talk about life -- there's a reason why they are my facebook friend. It wasn't a willy nilly decision. If I had an infinite amount of time I would like to get to know everyone a bit better.

I think chatting is a great way to stay connected when life just gets so busy. I don't recommend it be the catch-all by any means, but it's a nice boost when life needs that jolt. You know what I mean. It's the energizing fuel that in-person hang outs, parties, lunches, and dinners provide but are difficult to maintain when your commitments are plenty.

I talked with so many people I wouldn't ordinarily talk to and it just really made me happy. When I do chat, I get into state. That's why if I'm chatting online and I have a friend next to me or on the phone, I am rendered useless. I get so consumed with the conversation going on the screen or on the phone, that my reaction time significantly slows and I absolutely realize it.

To the first line of this post. On this chat medium, my ex came out to say hello. It got around to old news, and the fact that remnants of feelings remain on his behalf. He responded in a way that would guilt me, when I told him to move on (yet again). On a side note, talk about persistence! Back to my point, it felt like two worlds were occurring simultaneously, and he was attempting to persuade me to be immersed in his world, to be invested, to feel what he felt, to change my mind, and to take him seriously. Well, it's too bad I intend to live my life with happiness and a given set of attitudes. :) In my life I had just finished my paper, was studying on track with my finance exam, had the prospect of a mini-party that night, and was in the company of my great friends. Guilt was the last thing that would have been on my mind. :) I hope he realizes I'm happy. And the fact is: I intend to be, indefinitely.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


In Freshman year, it was serendipity. I met a fellow and I could enumerate qualities about him endlessly but he was remarkably different. Knowing who I was and where I am now, I still view him in the same light. He is something else. I admire him endlessly. From the first moment I met him, he was so warm, charming, gregarious, and we hit it off as friends immediately. I saw him when my friends and I were about to leave to the Obama rally in March of 2008. My friend, much better acquainted with him than I, decided to invite him on a whim. While they talked, I remembered I had met him before!

We were trying to persuade him, and all the girls kept asking in polite ways. He was indecisive and stirring. From somewhere deep within myself, I evenly told him, "Just say yes." I smiled the biggest grin in my life while doing so, and repeated it a couple times more. He smiled and made a quip, and said, "Well. Alright. I suppose... Yes." We had an ongoing joke that night that I had used my feminine wiles on him to get him to go, and it worked. In actuality, no feminine wiles were involved, haha.

I had the best time, hanging out in line with him, talking with someone that was virtually a stranger a few hours before but becoming so comfortable and close because of such an event. We spent a good 4 hours waiting in line, listening to speeches and being entertained, getting out of there, and having to drive to and from the Toyota Center. We got back to school about 10-11 and we were famished. We invited others, but they had to travel long distances home, so we went to the Towers to eat a satisfying dinner of pizza and fries. A bit cold, but better than nothing.

I recall sitting on the benches by an elevator in the Towers, box of takeout food, and an inquisitive mind, eager to learn more about someone that just made me smile. We talked for a couple of hours. Time flew by and I was being pushed into realms of conversation I never ventured towards. We talked about our course, Human Situation, my reverence for my discussion leader, Professor Little, vocabulary, what we wanted to do in the future. I found it so funny. He talked to me about his dreams of being a classical music vocalist, his desire to meet with Dr. Harvey, and his professor Dr. Morrisson.

He insisted on walking me home and he was such a gentleman. He always, always is. He wins the award of Best Quality Time Spent. The honest to God truth is, we've only run into each other a half dozen times within the interval of time between then, and yesterday. But all those times have been random hello's in the library or brief chats at an event together. We are both very busy and gregarious. It's been 2 years since I've had a legitimate conversation that lasted more than 5 minutes.

So yesterday, I looked towards the door in the Calhoun Lofts computer lab. In my peripheral vision I saw someone wearing red, no facial features, so naturally I didn't care. This figure loomed closer and soon he was only a foot away and I couldn't believe I didn't see him at all when I recognized him and turned to look at him. I hugged him for dear life and I couldn't believe it. Out of all places. I give him the longest hug I've given in a while and I just repeat over and over again, Ohmygod! What are you doing here?!

I'm beaming. We leave our things, I leave my phone, all my possessions, my FB chat conversations open, and trust the situation and leave. It felt right. We sat in the courtyard at Calhoun Lofts, and I could hear my laughs and his echo off the buildings. It was fantastic. We caught up with our respective lives and I could not believe that I made him speechless and say on multiple occasions "where have you been all my life."

On my end, I couldn't believe someone I admire so much, and believe does have a care in the world, is really full of troubles, worry, and uncertainty about the future. :) Such a beautiful soul, so talented, so hard-working -- seriously WORRIED? I couldn't make sense of it, but I attempted to bridge the gap. I felt great.

I let him get back to his paper on Kierkegaard, and since I'm becoming great friends with his neighbor, I'll swing by and send my hellos from now on. He came by in the AM after he made significant progress on his paper and watched The Importance of Being Earnest with us.

As much as I love serendipity, I will now take personal responsibility for incorporating him into my life. Especially if he's next door to my friend's boyfriend.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010



The ability to listen is probably one of the qualities I hate to love. It requires such an amount of introspection and ... perhaps most importantly, the reality check of oneself needed to adapt and be flexible.

One day I said to myself: I think my approach has to change. While the best leaders stand apart and aren't afraid to be first or the only one, I know that it's been conflicting my judgments of others.

I came back from the BE program, repugnant towards anything negative. It was bitter to the taste and harsh on the touch, and I couldn't stand it. However, I know now, that I'm already beyond the influence. It would help if the ones that are around me would quit drinking the haterade, but the best way to stay above the influence is to remember the love I have for them. I have to reinforce that they have beautiful moments, they are of skin and blood, and they are better than me in several things I can only dream of. They may have their faults, but so do I, and I can not judge them for it. Even if they judge me, even if they malign me, even if they curse and presume me for someone I'm not, I can choose to not go tit for tat. There's nothing beautiful about it. However, I assert one must be passionate about certain things, and passion may be confused with being combative.

I used to depart from those that I even had a slight twinge of negativity from. I just didn't want to be a part of it. I think I'm closest to those that value the principles that I do, but I think I've learned to manage the relationships that involve people I love but don't quite know how to manage the negativity in their lives. I don't isolate myself. I find a way to embrace them. I look at them for who they are completely. And that's important. However, my line of self respect is not to be affected. I know clearly when it's someone's mismanagement of deep-rooted troubles or a lack of disregard for me and my worth. That's a line that I do not let others tip-toe.

I think this past week has been a great exercise in understanding. By extending any virtue of hate to anyone that isn't in accord to what I believe in, is akin to hate itself. I am a lover, not a hater.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Fray.

I love the Fray. I get a warm feeling that's entirely visceral when I listen to certain songs of theirs. Not all of them are hits; some are a miss, but for the most part all of their songs have this intangible quality of heart.

From a really granular level, I really respect the concept of a band. It's a group of people that have one love -- music. The music changes according to the fluxes in emotion of the members within the group, changing life situations, maturity or maybe even moral decay. I think it's such a testament for this group to combine and create songs. These songs have all the layers of instruments and vocals and with such a difficult process, I can hardly believe fans expect albums like clockwork. An artist produces excellence, but like the natural order of the world, this too will work itself out. Don't fret, just appreciate the numerous other artists out there your ears have yet not had the pleasure of hearing. Do yourself that favor, why don't you?

The Fray makes me feel poetic and free. I feel light-hearted and my life gets less granular while I remember what's important. It's not about the egos or the pride. It's not about the details that distract. It's about the overarching picture that I am in love with the world and the world is unbelievably in love with me. I appreciate the moon, the stars, mountains, and the urban landscapes my fellow man has made, but even more, I love my fellow man. I may lose sight of that sometimes, but I do.

That is my focus.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


I got to see the festivities of a legitimate Easter Egg hunt. I remember my own hunts like it was yesterday. Only 2 are vivid in my mind. One was where my dad advised me to get certain eggs, laid out in the open. There was fierce competition amongst the children, and I was certainly intimidated by it. I just listened and did what I could. The other easter egg hunt was really interesting. It was the first time a great effort was taken to conceal the eggs and place them in inconspicuous places. :)

This one was the latter, and while I did not get to participate, I got to watch the whole thing unfold. It was really amazing.

The smiles, the children running, her dad getting a ladder to assist the kids in getting an egg on a tree branch, and witnessing some pretty candid moments was amazing.

I spent time with another family and their dynamic was very loving. It wasn't overly done, but I think they choose it to be that way. Their love shines from underneath but you can still see the glow.

I am proud my family glows and we're much better about saying and showing it more.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Hot Chocolate.

The chocolatey liquid to my soul.

Love the whipped cream. Even if I won't order it.

Friday, April 2, 2010


Ms. Madonna is my muse.

So beautiful, captivating, and alluring.

She is the master of re-invention and I firmly believe she has made it into a refined art that is practiced by many.

She's so sensual and talented. To see her grow through the ages, donning different personas and visages as if she had been that way all along.

I hold my glass up to you Madonna.

My favorite songs of hers are: Hung Up, Sorry, Beautiful Stranger, Frozen, Nothing Really Matters, Take a Bow, and Like a Prayer.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Drake - Over.

Powerful introduction and chorus to the first single from Drake.

There is a very soft side to me, the hippy fun-loving me. And there's the dominant, direct one that comes out very nicely in this song when it's rapped along to in my car.

Check check check it.

I know way too many people here right now
That I didn’t know last year, who the fuck are y’all?
I swear it feels like the last few nights
We been everywhere and back
But I just can’t remember it all

What am I doin’? What am I doin’?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me
I’m livin’ life right now, mayne

And this what I’ma do ’til it’s over

‘Til it’s over
But it’s far from over…..