So today, I got to realize the gift of problems - because I cared so much about the gift of family. These are the two gifts I talked about yesterday... and it's crazy that these are the ones I worked on today. See! Action always follows thought.
When I got home, I was thinking of how HAPPY I was. The whole drive home was fun. I listened to a CD that an ex boyfriend burned me, and I had forgotten how good the actual music was. I wasn't able to listen to it for the longest time since I attached the hurt memories with the music. I've moved forward so the music is a standalone. I could not wait to go home and hug my parents. Everything was amazing. I hugged my mom and told her thanks for buying me sushi from Kroger. I asked my dad if I could hug him, and he jokingly said 'No' so I hugged him from behind anyway. He laughed. :) I do have a cute dad.
As I ate, I told my parents that school would inevitably get hectic soon, so we need to have dinner at least once per month so that we keep in touch. (This isn't including phone calls) I mentioned that last semester the only times we saw each other were Thanksgiving and Christmas. My dad remarked that I just wanted to do this because I wanted food. Okay, that's partially true, I do love food, but I yelled out, "Heyyy, is it wrong that I love my parents?" So my mom said, "We have to make a commitment." I completely beamed because those are the words I would have used! She understood. And that was good.
A few minutes passed. My mom turned to my dad. As if a light switch had been turned on, she started complaining about people at work. She talked about politics and the Obama administration. My dad fed fuel to that fire. They both engaged in excited conversation.
What's wrong with this picture?
Here I was at home. I was so happy to see them. I want them to be just as happy as I am. But her comfort level dictated that she mention something negative. In order to connect with my dad. Outlet her frustrations.
I had to say something. I did. I respect my courage.
It was a long, pretty heated exchange at times, but it simmered down into peace and understanding. My parents misunderstood me for defending the Obama's. I really was not. My stance was that there was something fundamentally wrong with having every conversation when we're at the table be about politics or something negative. Politics is divisive. Especially when it preys upon trying to point out that the other person is wrong. You can take all the facts you want in the world and make egregious claims. Just sayin'.
To me what was at stake was my family dynamics. I know for a while, that there needed to be something different in this family for us to bond more and to get closer. I mentioned to my mom that she's highlighting all of the negative things and it affects me. She responded that she has freedom of expression and every right to. I don't disagree. At all. She does. But I told her that if you create a negative environment, your thoughts reflect it, you start to believe it, and it becomes your life. You become a living, breathing, negative machine. She gave me one of the most jaded comments I've heard, "When you get out there in the real world, and you work, you'll know that the world is a pretty negative place." The only thing I could think about was all of the beauty in the world. Even in that moment. The fact that she was talking to her daughter, and was in the room with her loving husband, in a two-story house that had heat and a full refrigerator. I could not even begin to fathom negativity. All I could think was: Paradox, but that's okay. Life is funny that way.
I asked my dad to not talk about politics when my mom walked away. My dad agreed not to talk about politics in front of me. That's what I want.
To be a leader in the world, you have to start where you're at. I have a vision so clear, and it's a loving family atmosphere. The love is already there. My castle is in the sky; I just have to put the foundation underneath.