I feel like I have left my childhood. I am in adulthood. Not in the sense that I'm fully independent (whether it be financially, etc) but in my state of mind. It's the prospect of anything -- any fiscal, emotional, physical responsibility does not daunt me. You must wrap your head around the situation at hand, and persevere. Choose to be tough. Not to suffer. I don't have to ever be nostalgic for anything in the past because I will always love the present tense. I know that what happened in the past was great (!!!), but where I am NOW is my focus. Why would my mind be fixed anywhere else? It's simply not... relevant. I know that I will stay here, and I need to make it 100% the best it can be.
I got some potentially harrowing news from my brother about my dad. I must clarify, it isn't bad news. Remember, I philosophically believe there is NEVER bad news. There are only challenges that present itself. Opportunities to learn and grow. I wasn't affected, even for a moment. I looked at my dad the same. The man who loves me and raised me up unconditionally. He is fully human and I fully believe in the capacity for anyone to redeem themselves, to brush themselves off and say, I recognize my mistakes. I will change my approach, because when I change my approach - the results change, and so does my world. Even if the imperfections do exist, it doesn't change the facts. The imprints my dad has made on my life are innumerable, and that's exactly the focus. He has helped shape me to be the strong individual that I am. My brother and I will get through this.