I love it when I crush hard. :) And I am.
But before I jump into anything, I'm having the best time discovering and seeing the world and what it has to offer. I'm not going to lie, if I had to put a term for it: I'm in an open relationship with the entire world.
My love is FREE. I love everyone and I see their BEAUTY. People are gorgeous and magnificent and the most beautiful thing they can wear is their confidence.
Today one of my members said, "I woke up today, and decided I look good naked." The air was still and it was deemed an out of place comment, but immediately I thought it was awesome! Confidence is sexy. I don't care if everyone says you need to be aware that you can't wear certain things because it's too fitting and you're not in good shape for it -- if I see someone doing their thing and wearing what they want, a huge part of me focuses on the amount of CONFIDENCE that person has and the strength they have in approaching a very negative world.
Of course, even though I'm in an open relationship with the world and I love people and see them for who they are, I realize that I really like society's construct of being committed with someone. It means that mentally, the bond I have with this person is so strong, everyone else, I can love, but it becomes a different kind of love. The love is reshaped, recomposed if you will. I would say the love transforms into a different role. There's are two forces that have partial overlap with each other and I have to be decisive about which one meshes more with my values. It's truly a difficult circumstance. Friends are extremely important; they are your support system always. Your significant other is also very important; they are your other half and become intimately familiar with you in ways that good friends don't come close to. We've established that both are so important. But what's the focus? My values determine that my commitment is the most important. I make a commitment to my significant other to remain wholly respectful, kind, and considerate. I will keep the friendship of my friends, but I would do nothing to erode the trust and commitment I have. If that means that I need to stay within bounds of what society deems as acceptable with other friends while one has a boyfriend/girlfriend then so be it. My focus is on the trust. Any friend of mine would understand that shift in behavior. It's not even conscientious. For me, it's very much immediate and innate. So many forces shape it but it's natural to me.
I'm excited at what the future may bring. :)