Saturday, March 6, 2010

True Test.

I'm really quite proud of myself.

I felt ready to open the door, because I want that to be my policy. That at any rate, I can be cordial and welcoming to anyone, without restriction. I agreed that it was never to late to choose to do the right thing, and for the betterment of my conscience and the relationships I had with mutual friends, I wanted to open a line of communication.

I had a great time laughing and getting to know people I otherwise don't talk to. After the eating and check splitting, the crowd congregated outside and I knew I had to take my leave, unable to attend the after-dinner festivities due to my age and due to my commitment to my 3 exams this next week. I said I had to leave, and said Happy Birthday, and departed. I felt pretty good for stepping out of my comfort zone to reciprocate a truce.

There were a series of texts and eventually a full-blown conversation that night about rebuilding our friendship.

I believe I handled it like a champ. We had a genuine conversation and I was open and honest about the way I felt. I feel like I've grown so much; I'm very happy and life could not be better. I'm open to being friends but to say that anything more is possible would be lying. I was firm. Explained my rationale. I have had a lot of maturity, but philosophically my past is my past, a past that I left behind for good reason. I only deal with my present.

We agreed to disagree. I felt very happy at the end of the conversation, because I felt that I stuck to my principles, and I had a responses for everything. I know who I am and what I want. I really am complete, and it's unfortunate that he does not feel the same, but his reaction may be telling to my strength and willpower.

I don't move backwards. I only move forward. :) Go me.

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