Walking out of the apartment, I noticed all the greenery, cars, the smell, the people. Hypersensitivity, as if it were prompted by the scene of a crime. Maybe I was leaving the crime scene. However, the only crime was someone's leaving.
Everything came into focus like never before. I don't know what this all means. I just know that the mystery is okay. It will tell with time.
These past 2 months have been a whirlwind of exceptions.
It was good to let go and forfeit control.
It was good to try a plethora of new experiences with people I hardly knew.
It was great to not have to think too hard.
It was good to always know something was going on.
It was comfortable. It was sweet. It was in the moment.
If I had to say something to them, it'd be, "I'm the energizer bunny that keeps on going. But you guys gave me a run for my money this summer. I feel like I truly seized the day, every day this summer. Thank you for letting me know what I'm capable of, in how to balance my life. You didn't let me get away with not sharing my friendship."
But with them gone, I realize some of the mainstays I can't go without.
Calling more of the shots.
Deep, meaningful conversation. Seeing the essence of the soul in front of me, not being limited by the ticking clock that counts down their stay in Houston.
Ever-positive, accepting, and patient people that I love to be with.
I'm glad this summer, I got to experience something I've been talking about for ages: a crew of friends. I got that this summer. I see the merit in both. In this regard, I remain non-committed to either, married to the world and everything in it. Anything that loves me will understand this.