After finals ended, I went through a battery of TV show watching. I finished watching this really interesting show called the Millionaire Matchmaker.
The host is Patti Stanger. Apparently she's a 3rd generation matchmaker, who was taught by her mom predominantly about the values and what it takes to create great dates and how to match people based on compatibility. For the first few shows, I disagreed on a lot of points that Patti had to make. I also disagreed with her approach; she was abrasive, blunt, and she judged people based on appearance with comments that were downright harsh.
After TWO entire seasons of hearing Patti Stanger's phrases, her rationale, the way she made decisions, I felt like I took a crash course in matchmaking and ... for myself, I think I've gained some nuggets of wisdom on how to approach the romance world. It was pretty eye-opening, some of the conceptions that have changed in my mind, especially when I thought I would only be gaining sensational entertainment value, like MTV or something. :)
Here are some of the gems:
*I found it interesting that when she created mixers for her millionaires, she always put a 'test' candidate in there, that would be the WRONG choice. Someone she knew the millionaire chose as a 'type', and this 'type' usually didn't work out. Patti felt that the best way to learn is to be able to have the realism of an actual choice of two people presented in front of you - so you can truly showcase that you've learned the lesson of not choosing the person that's bad for you, the person that's just gorgeous on the outside and much younger, but not much in terms of true comptability. The word compatibility has gained a lot more meaning to me.
*When I think of the guys I have met, or the guys I used to completely deem as perfect, I can see how I chose my 'type', or the ones that might be physically attractive, but I noticed the trend... it wouldn't last if that's all it was based upon. I can now, turn my back on someone that's very good looking, and before, it would be like torture, but seeing it happen 30 times in a row on TV, makes it hard for me not to anchor this lesson and make the right choice. I know I would not be happy with someone that doesn't do it for me physically and emotionally. It's just when it comes to the physical factor, it's pretty broad, so the emotional connection is way important to me.
*Being charming and just a pleasant fun person doesn't come as a given with age. As I watched dozens of late 30-somethings and 40 something year olds go on dates galore, there were some tactless personalities and situations that caused my jaw to drop on the ground. Age doesn't refine someone automatically... it takes work, and hopefully I'm doing alright.
*Time is so valuable. Yes, there's always time to learn and experiment. But in the prime years of a person's life, one's youth, she really convinced me to not waste it on the guys that aren't in it for real. And one thing I've learned is that one's hook up value is not the same as their relationship value = truthfully to say, just because someone will hook up with you does not mean they will settle down with you. Putting that in perspective, I'd rather spend my time trying to find something that will work for me.