Control.

I went home to visit my parents and to try the food my aunt took the time to cook my brother and me.

Right as I got in the door, I remembered I needed to get my other aunt's phone number in order to call her to ask if she had seen my UNICEF shirts. So I explained the situation to my dad, and immediately his temperature rose and he got really upset. He went on a tirade about my lack of responsibility and threatened a lot of implications (which is a bad habit of his).

I kept my head on straight. I explained that I've decided there's no point to being upset about it, if the shirts are gone, they're gone, and I've learned my lesson so it would never happen again. It's really that simple, and if it's out of pocket, it's out of pocket, but there's no need to be emotionally invested and for it to drain the life out of me.

My dad really was having a bad day I think. LOL. He kept trying to plow down my defenses, and to test my limits. He created a hypothetical situation with a car accident, and asked if I were in a car accident, would I just walk away and go forward with it? I thought for a second. I said, well, of course I would think about it, but I would move forward. I'd be grateful I was alive which is the most important point. You've gotta focus on what's important. In that situation, you realize how fragile life may be. If there were a devastating car accident, and I didn't make it, my dad would lose someone to argue with. :P I know how he loves to argue with me. He then remarked that my way of thinking was completely flawed, and my philosophy was ridiculous.

I really wasn't fazed. Every conversation with my parents can be a battle, but as long as I keep my head on straight and become a thermostat, and not just a thermometer (reflecting the energy that's given to me) I will always achieve the outcomes I want without sacrificing my dignity.

AND, I clearly won that outcome because minutes later, my dad started to ask me about school and how the hunger banquet food arrangement was going to go. Because I handled the situation earlier like a champ, we didn't waste time going through the motions of saying things we didn't mean and pushing each others buttons to an irrevocable point of no return. I blunted each of his comments. When you take away the ammunition, what is left? It's just a human being that's reacting the only way they know how. Not very scary at all. Especially if it's just my dad.

I calmly knew in my heart that it is not wrong to treat every day as if it is a gift. That time spent being in misery is time spent unwisely. That as long as I have a choice to focus on my own attitude on a positive outcome, I will do that. It's for my own sanity and this month has proven it is the best way to live. Throw any snarky comments you want at me, lay your horn on me when I accidentally cut you off, try to conceal your love with a steel-like armor, I won't be deterred and my spirit won't be broken.

I am complete.