Friday, January 29, 2010

Sense of Self.

When I think of last night, dancing the night away with fantastic people I just met, just being in the moment and having a blast - I think of the song Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones.

My philosophy of life is predicated upon loving one another and getting past pre-judgments and treating them as a person who wants to be seen for who they are. I want to cultivate a positive energy and if I meet you, there's no other reason why I'm there. You are the only person that exists in that moment and I will make the most of it.

With that being said, I'll admit it, I love going to gay clubs but previously I always dreaded the moment I would be hit on by a female on the dance floor. My thought process was a bit skewed, but there's a huge difference to how I feel about it now.

One great thing I love about going to gay clubs is this confidence and acceptance of self that I find in every person I meet. It's harder to find such a confluence of these qualities anywhere else. This is just something I especially appreciate about the gay community. There is an experience every homosexual goes through when they leave the closet or come to terms with their whole unbridled sexuality. It's a beautiful thing and it causes a maturity that doesn't exist for people like me; society accepts my sexual choices openly and freely. It's terrible that society sends such negative energy to create this crucible that forces growth, but loving yourself is one positive outgrowth of the stigma against homosexuality. You begin to understand that life is too short to demean yourself and be something that you aren't. You make the important connection that when you begin accepting yourself, you begin to be happy. Your skin gets a bit thicker, you create a core or a sense of self that no one can touch, no matter what the media, no matter what your closest friends may say, you know who you are. There is such irresistible beauty in those that can love themselves, and say they are beautiful with no preconditions. I feel that way about myself now, and I love to see this radiance in others.

Last night, I had joyous times and respected everyone there for the beautiful people they were. Dancing is such a beautiful expression of self. A part of knowing yourself, is knowing that it doesn't matter if you fit a certain way of dancing, just believe that the way you dance is exactly the way you're supposed to. In a sense, I believe if I had to distill this message, I would say, everything you are, is what I want to see. No holding back.

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