Saturday, July 17, 2010

Our Map.

My brother had an intervention last night about his career path.

It's something I struggle with. When loved ones, the ones that watch your back, and the ones I feel obligated to watch over, don't make the decisions I think would be ideal.

I know I have my own map of experiences. With my brother, he's been re-aligning his career track for some time now. Ever since he's started college, it's been a realignment process that my whole family has given the freedom of his own space to think, cultivate his thoughts, and make his own decisions. From Medical doctor, physician's assistant, anesthesiologist assistant, to now pharmacist, I've been along for the whole tumultuous ride.

It's tumultuous because he handles situations much differently than I. I strategize, and in parallel, I implement. I don't sit still for long, and I have contingency plans in the back of my mind, and I'm always at the ready to pick myself up and move forward. I benchmark myself. I know I should only look to myself and listen to my body, but you know what, sometimes you need to reference what others have done to give you an idea of what the human body and mind are capable of.

So he sits. And he contemplates. Not knowing which direction to move forward in, needing to eliminate each possibility completely before going to the next branch. My dad and I have been talking with him, and I think we've hit a deadlock. It's enough to shut anyone down for sure, to tell someone, your approach is all wrong, and you should change your path.

But it's because we care, and ultimately it's his choice and his life. As I sat in the car with him, driving home to Fiesta Lane, I tried to talk to him about my point of view and how he could apply it to his situation to be more effective, I got the answer of his agreement to disagree.

Pride is such a huge thing in our lives. Pride is not a huge issue for me. I don't think my pride keeps me from making amends with people that matter most to me. But when others have such pride that it keeps them from being the bigger person and taking that step, this is where my judgment gets confused. Do I put aside my pride, knowing that I'm validating the other person's pride? Or do I make a statement, and put my foot down, to show that out of all people in the world, I won't be just another person who steps aside because your pride was too much for them?

It's tough. It really is. But our family is in the long haul.

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