Sunday, August 8, 2010


Staring at him and laughing at a horribly sarcastic comment he made, and seeing his face open wide with laughter. I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss the god-awful accurate renditions of me and my comments.

I slept over at Jeff's with Beebs in the bed next to me. When quarter past 7am struck, he opened the door.

He said, I'm leaving, ladies. I was in a sleepy stupor, and it just didn't hit me yet.

Beebs stayed in bed and hugged him. I got out of bed, and hugged him. Squeezed him. And felt like this private moment wasn't so private. I remember his smell. A good cologne'y musk but none too strong. I can still smell it on my shirt.

I watched him close the door behind him. And the subsequent front door a few seconds later. And that was it for now. He was on his way, 12 hours back to Alabama.

I didn't have the capacity to think - to fully comprehend - so I slept for another 3 hours. We both got up, did our morning rituals, had some laughs, and she asked me to call him. I needed this to be a private moment - the call. I said no.

We left to go home, and we talked about popping in a movie later. How is the dynamic going to be after him? I don't know. Of course I'm sad, and the deities above allowed me to embrace the feelings I couldn't yet express by playing, "The Only Exception" by Paramore. A beautiful song.

The night before, at the Flying Saucer he mentioned, I just feel bad for Charlene. She's going to have to experience all of the goodbye's.

I'm a tough girl, who wears a dress shirt and studded belt to sleep, nomadic yet loving, and I know that even if someone is in my life for a moment, if it's a beautiful one, I'll appreciate it for what it is. I know there will be times to come with these wonderful people. October, he mentioned coming to Atlanta for a weekend. That would be amazing.

I won't focus on the aspects of the friendships I made that I could do without. For now, someone that has been on my mind and in front of me more often than my best friends have, is not within my state any longer. I already miss him.

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