Cholesterol.

January 2011

When I got my physical results back, and it said 'cholesterol still elevated', it just crushed me.

I was conflicted at first. I feel like I'm just walking with invincibility. But I thought, today - elevated cholesterol. Tomorrow - a stroke. But I think I'm starting to treat my body more and more like it has its own living breathing spirit, and because of that, I want to treat it better. I want to do right by me. If my body were another human being, there'd be no way I'd eat crispy chicken strips and waffle fries for lunch and then have a steak and mashed potatoes with fried bananas for dinner.

But I have.

So I feel like there's been a real shift. And it's made me think about a quote. "Tolerance is your worst enemy. It’s worse to tolerate something than to hate it because, if the pain is painful enough, you’ll make a change." I've hit the breaking point. I didn't receive the best dental news, and with this news, I felt like, instead of feeling like I was losing control - I can take it back. I can control being physically active and the foods I put in my mouth.

I talked with my brother. I told him that I feel conflicted between having a great time with friends and family because food is so associated with love and fun. He advised that I still do that, but that I make better choices and while I'm away from friends and family, that I really really watch the foods I eat.

I took it one step further and have been watching what I eat like a guard dog - not feeling good at all about fried foods, fatty foods, and seafood as much. I have to connect it with being repulsive - as the ingredients that will collect on my arterial walls, and it becomes easy to just say... it's not worth ONE meal. And it becomes that much easier to make it to the next meal.

Also, watching Heavy on A&E is very inspiring as well. It keeps me focused on moving forward.