Every now and then I need to do a reality check with myself. Of course I do my best to stay present, and keep my mental state POSITIVE since it's the thermostat I can control, and I'm truly a believer of controlling my thoughts so that my actions are consistent with an optimistic lifestyle...
But, insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
Sometimes glossing over and making everything positive without fully assessing things can lead to a sit-down with myself where I find out, it's time to change my approach. When it's that time, it can seem schizophrenic to outsiders. It certainly feels a bit schizophrenic to me.
So this is the contradiction. Over the year, I've come to find that a lot of life's choices are really tough. They are hard, and they come from a place that logic and rationality can't begin to touch. It's facing these contradictions and picking the poker hand that's good for me at the time, that's been the toughest call. So friends, family, and people I love, my decisions have been the best I could manage at that point in time. They have been imperfect, they have led to consequences I could not have imagined, but at least I began to trust myself and broke away from the insanity that led to the same results.
For the next year, there will be a crossroads I'll face even more often, as I start working full-time, end my collegiate career, deal with romance, and other things life will reward me. Life's not a game, but I intend to play full out. So, here's to more questionable judgment calls I'll have to make, and hoping I have the heart to ACT and not delay.